What to say?

I've never known the right thing to say. In typing the words or in saying the words. I am not eloquent. Its just not something I have every been blessed with. But I feel like writing.

I don't know who I am anymore. I don't understand why I do curtain things or why I say certain things. Where is the person who used to inhabit this body. I want him back. I want the guy who loved life for everything that was given to him. The one who thought no mountain is to tall and nothing will ever keep me from the top.Those are the thoughts that have passed through my head many times in the past seven years or so.

When my depression set in while I was in high school there was that change. The one that no one ever wants to admit is happening. Three years ago I spent time at a summer camp that changed me. The lessons where over Gods unfailing Love for me, the sinner. Since then it has been an incredible climb. For about a year my climb has seamed to stop.

The only change that is worse than the change into depression is the one that snaps you back to life. When you realize how stagnant you have become. The main reason is because it comes at a cost. The cost is usually personal. It may not be personal to you, but it is to someone.

This post is my personal way of saying goodbye to Cameron. I know that you will be missed by everyone who ever came in contact with you. I want you to know how much your life meant to me. I always envied your voice. You could sing a lion to sleep. But i also want you to know that you have reminded me to live my life to the fullest because its the only one I have and my prayer is that your family will find peace in knowing you are in a far greater place. Please continue to look after us especially Lauren and the friends from Guthrie. I know they are missing you a lot.